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A Terrible Start for the Week
Monday, November 12, 2007 x 8:46 AM
Dear dumb diary,
I'm feeling very unwell right now. Yesterday was like my worst day EVER!!!
Seems like I have unintentionally hurt one of my best friends. I'm such a bad friend, I know. Well, he didn't really say that I've hurt him. He even said I haven't and ladida. But ya know... No one will really say it right? =/ So I'm feeling pretty worried right now.
He told me his story earlier today, and it seems like the subject he was talking about (though he referred them as "people") was me. I'm not too sure, but it seems like it. Won't ask him anymore coz he won't say it even though it really was me.
Our conversation turned really awkward since last night. It was alright at the very beginning. And suddenly, he replied everything very shortly. One word. And even one letter sometimes. Isn't that obvious? If you read the chat log, you will know what I'm talking about. Seriously, the age of 17 is not sweet. It's very bitter. I got hurt lots of times. I cried a lot. Friends hurt me. Family hurt me. What else? Ooh.. I've lost 2 best friends in a row, and I really don't want to lose the third one. I consider him as a bests friend really. Though we've never met. =S But I don't know what he considers me. The things he said, all those "nice" stuff, I'm pretty sure it's just so I won't get hurt.
Apart from that, my other best friend, a brother I've considered him as, is also having a major problem. Won't spell it out here. But I'm really scared. I cried all night, couldn't sleep plus had a bad dream. Oh great! What a starting for a new week. =/
I'm very tired of crying. Very tired of being treated like crap by people I care. It sucks. A lot.
I don't know what else to write. Wanna tell this stuff to someone else that understands, so that my heart can have a bit of relief. Someone I can trust with this. It's overwhelming inside right now. Getting ready to be exploded.
Oh well... Might as well end it here. I'm very tired of thinking of this stuff. I'm predicting a very bad week for me. Let's just see how it's going to turn out when I greet him over MSN next. Feels like I wanna vanish from the internet world. =/
I don't even know why I'm writing all this when no one really reads my blog. =S
