Midwinter's Nightmare
Saturday, February 9, 2008 x 7:09 AM
Winter. Bitter and cold. Grey and gloomy.
I brought sad feelings when I came to New York. Haven't really removed it yet. And I thought due to the busy times I will have to spend for school I thought I could run away with all feelings. I thought it would hide itself to somewhere I wouldn't notice whatsoever. But I was wrong.
I came int he middle of a bitter cold winter. The sky was gray and gloomy. Just like my heart. Up until now. My head is spinning with all the thoughts squirming back and forth in my brain, screaming and struggling to get out. But they can't. They are trapped. And guess what! They grow bigger and bigger by eating the happiness that I experience daily.
Just today, I was a little bit happier. I make friends at my new school, happy stuff occurred, the person that I fear of ignoring me talked to me which signaled a good sign. But then, in one second, the switch of happiness was flicked off when the beeping sound of my MSN caught my attention.
The person that had ignored me for the last few months sent me a message in a proper sentence instead of some random emotes that he used to send. I was a bit hopeful coz I thought it was a sign of our friendship is going to be rekindled. So we started talking for a fair bit in a weird subject. With my mouth dropped open, tears welled up on my eyes, and my heart painfully stabbed, I read: "sorry but ima delete you"
Those words were like 10 sharp swords penetrating through my heart. Do you really have to say it if you wanna delete someone? =S
That wasn't the first, by the way. Nor the second. Everytime I've gotten over the fight, and be a little bit cheered, there would always be something ruining it as if it was against the law of nature, me being happy.
Geez! I don't know what else to write in here. Life sucks atm! =/
Alrighty! I'm outta here. Ciao!
~ReNez!~
